Using Eye Contact to Improve Focus

• 00:04 When you're listening to someone, your body language is crucial,
• 00:08 the most important part of your body, your eyes.
• 00:12 Now you don't want to be staring someone down like you've seen a ghost or
• 00:16 you're trying to haunt them or something.
• 00:20 But most of the time you do want to be looking at the person who's speaking.
• 00:24 Of course, you can look away for a moment.
• 00:27 But what you don't want to do as we've talked about, staring at phones,
• 00:32 daydreaming, talking to the person next to you.
• 00:36 It really sends a signal to the person in the workplace speaking to
• 00:39 you that you don't care, you're not paying attention.
• 00:42 Now you want to look relaxed, comfortable, pleasant, so
• 00:47 again, it's not this intense, furrowed brow.
• 00:52 And I do realize there are some differences in different cultures.
• 00:56 In Japan for example, the ultimate sign of respect, if you're a speaker and
• 01:00 you have people in the audience is eyes can be closed,
• 01:03 because they're concentrating so intently on what you're saying.
• 01:08 So there are some cultural differences around the world.
• 01:12 My advice, I think, is going to help most people most the time in most places,
• 01:19 certainly in Western cultures.
• 01:21 But you're going to have to filter this through what works in your own culture.
• 01:26 But that's the first really big body language tip is you just gotta
• 01:31 look at the person.
• 01:32 Now if it's a one on one conversation, we've all experienced this,
• 01:37 whether in business meetings more often in social situations,
• 01:40 where the person's looking, nodding, and looking behind you to see,
• 01:45 is there something more interesting, someone more interesting there?
• 01:50 That's a huge turnoff for people, if they feel like you don't think they're
• 01:55 important, they're not worthy of you looking at them, it's going to make them
• 02:00 annoyed, and distract them from what they're trying to convey.
• 02:05 So I'm going to give you more tips in the next lecture on other aspects
• 02:10 of body language, but I wanted to put a special spotlight on the eyes.
• 02:14 Your eyes are powerful, it is just so
• 02:18 much easier to understand someone, and
• 02:22 really hear them, and remember what they're saying,
• 02:28 if you're actually looking at them.
• 02:31 Because if you're looking at them, by definition,
• 02:35 you're not reading Facebook messages, you're not reading tweets.
• 02:39 You're not looking at the birds outside and the airplanes, and
• 02:42 your mind is more focused on what they're saying.
• 02:45 So you can make a lot of other mistakes, and you can maybe sit with your arms
• 02:49 crossed that someone else would say is a body language faux pas.
• 02:53 If you're really looking at the person speaking to you,
• 02:57 the vast majority of the time they're speaking, you'll be in good shape.

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