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About this lesson
Understand your audience so you can prepare the right message.
Quick reference
Make Sure Your Audience Can Relate to Your Story
Your story only works if your audience connects with it — choose stories that resonate with who they are and what they care about.
Tailor Your Story to Your Audience
- Before choosing a story, start with the message you're trying to communicate.
- Then ask: Which story will best connect with this particular audience?
- Different audiences need different stories — what works for college students might fall flat with corporate executives (and vice versa).
- Don’t force a favorite story into every talk — if it doesn’t resonate with the audience, it doesn’t work.
Make Sure the Story and Characters Are Relatable
- Can the audience understand the story?
- Can they empathize with the characters?
- Will they get the point you're trying to make?
- If the answer is no to any of these, consider a different story.
One Size Does Not Fit All
- Stand-up comedians know this well: a joke that works for a sober, early crowd might flop with a late-night, rowdy audience.
- Your story choices should shift based on the setting, context, and who’s in the room.
Personal vs. Third-Party Stories
- Personal stories are usually easier to tell with authenticity and emotion.
- But in some cases, third-party stories may have a stronger impact for certain audiences.
- Example: Tony Robbins uses Sylvester Stallone’s backstory in his talks — not his own, but it resonates powerfully.
- Example: Malcolm Gladwell is known for telling researched, third-party stories — not personal ones — and still connects deeply.
The Bottom Line
- Choose stories based on what will make your message hit home — not just what you like telling.
- If a personal story fits, great. If a third-party story hits harder for your audience, use that instead.
- 00:04 Depending on your audience, you should have already thought of the exact message you're trying to convey to this audience, but you may have numerous different stories that could make that point.
- 00:16 How do you pick the right one?
- 00:17 You got to ask yourself, what is this audience going to relate to?
- 00:21 If you're talking to college kids, that's very different from retirees in many situations.
- 00:27 If you're talking to kindergarteners, that's different than adults in the business world.
- 00:31 So really ask yourself, is this story going to resonate with this audience?
- 00:38 Can the audience relate to my characters?
- 00:43 Are they going to feel sympathy for the characters?
- 00:45 Are they going to get the point?
- 00:46 Are they even going to understand it?
- 00:49 Ask yourself all those questions and if it doesn't seem like a good fit, don't force the story.
- 00:56 There's no such thing as a story you have to tell in every single speech.
- 01:00 If it doesn't communicate the message you want and resonate with the audience, it doesn't work.
- 01:06 Any great stand up comedian will tell you.
- 01:08 There may be stories and jokes that work Tuesday night early in the evening because it may be a sophisticated crowd and they're not drunk at all.
- 01:19 Very different from the crowd you speak to after 11:00 on a Saturday night when it's nothing but drunk college kids.
- 01:27 It's a different audience.
- 01:28 Different stories will work.
- 01:30 In this case, different jokes will work, but don't assume one-size-fits-all.
- 01:37 You also have to ask yourself, are there going to be some stories that are not personal stories, but that might resonate more with your audience?
- 01:45 That's OK.
- 01:46 Now you've heard me mention it's generally better to share personal stories.
- 01:51 It's easier to convey emotion.
- 01:54 It's easier for you to say.
- 01:55 But there are going to be times for certain audiences where other people's stories are going to be more powerful.
- 02:03 Any of you who've ever been to an Anthony Robbins weekend seminar may remember the story he tells about Sylvester Stallone.
- 02:13 And the story involves Sylvester Stallone's rise from poverty, his early acting days, having to sell his dog to survive, doing everything he could, turning down money offers to to make his big blockbuster Rocky because he wanted to star in.
- 02:32 It talks about all the turmoil in a very compelling way.
- 02:37 But it's not a personal story of Anthony Robbins.
- 02:40 He's just retelling a third party story because he thinks it would resonate with so many people in his audience.
- 02:46 And he's right, it works.
- 02:49 Another example is the famed author and pundit, podcast guest and podcast host Malcolm Gladwell.
- 03:00 He is wildly popular on the professional public speaking circuit, gets paid an astronomical fee, and he tells stories, but they're typically not personal stories.
- 03:13 He tells stories of people he has investigated, researched, written about.
- 03:19 In some cases, he's telling stories of David and Goliath from thousands of years ago, but he's doing it with a storyteller's craft.
- 03:28 Ask yourself what is going to resonate the most with your audience.
- 03:34 That should determine what story it is, whether it's a personal or a third party story.
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