Body Language for a Seated Meeting

• 00:05 So you're meeting someone for a business meeting.
• 00:08 You've introduced yourself, you're sitting down.
• 00:10 It's either a one on one or small group meeting.
• 00:13 How do you come across?
• 00:16 A lot of people go too far and one extreme or the other.
• 00:19 On the one hand, they're too casual.
• 00:22 They're slumped over.
• 00:23 They're leaning back like the kid in school where the teacher has to say don't
• 00:27 you break that chair.
• 00:29 In one famous case, a former Chief of Staff of the United States President
• 00:34 put his feet on the table in front of a United States Senator and offended him.
• 00:40 And here we are telling you about it 20 years later.
• 00:42 So you don't wanna be too casual, too relaxed.
• 00:46 You're not in your home with your three best friends from high school having
• 00:50 a beer and watching a soccer game or a football game.
• 00:54 It's not that casual.
• 00:57 On the other hand, you don't want to be sitting up with perfect posture, on edge,
• 01:01 as if you're about to be electrocuted.
• 01:04 That's not going to work either.
• 01:06 What I recommend is sitting In the chair your feet flat.
• 01:10 Now personally I'm a lot more comfortable knee over knee, legs crossed sitting way
• 01:16 back and really just getting comfortable but it's just a little too casual.
• 01:21 And as you already have a strong relationship with that person,
• 01:25 and you're already really comfortable with each other so I recommend you sit down,
• 01:31 if there's a table it's okay for your hands to be on the table but
• 01:34 don't lean on the table, don't slump on the table.
• 01:38 It makes you look lazy, sloppy and like you'd like to have a nap.
• 01:43 That's not the impression you want to send.
• 01:46 You don't want your body sending that message.
• 01:50 You want to be comfortable but not too comfortable.
• 01:53 I recommend when you're sitting in a chair for
• 01:54 a meeting, don't sit all the way back and lounge on the arm rest.
• 02:00 Hold yourself up high, lean forward, hands on the table, fine.
• 02:05 There's no table, they can just be on your lap.
• 02:07 But when you're talking move your hands.
• 02:11 You'll come across more comfortable, more confident,
• 02:14 cuz that's what people do in real life.
• 02:17 I'll tell you a little secret.
• 02:18 When I do body language training and
• 02:21 public speaking training with clients all over the world, early in the day
• 02:25 I always video record them secretly when they think they don't know.
• 02:31 I just turn off the light off the camera,
• 02:33 I drop the mic on the floor, I sit back and how did that feel.
• 02:38 And every single time people move their hands,
• 02:41 they saw oh that was awful, I didn't like that at all.
• 02:45 I thought it was kinda boring.
• 02:46 They're moving their hands.
• 02:48 They're moving their body.
• 02:50 And that's what is key.
• 02:51 You need to move your hands, you need to move your body.
• 02:54 Now, what a lot of people do in business meetings They're fidgeting with a pen.
• 03:00 Now, if you need to write notes based on the what the person you're meeting with,
• 03:04 that's fine.
• 03:05 When you're not writing notes, put the pen down.
• 03:09 If you're talking, put the pen down.
• 03:13 Don't fidget with your glasses.
• 03:15 Don't fidget on, with things that are around or on the table.
• 03:20 Don't fidget at all.
• 03:22 Instead When you're listening have your hands still.
• 03:26 When you're talking, gesture in a normal way.
• 03:30 And that will make you come across much, much better.
• 03:34 So just remember lean in to listen to people,
• 03:38 don't be too comfortable, don't be too stiff,
• 03:42 focus on the person you're meeting with, and act interested.
• 03:48 And certainly don't put your feet on the table,
• 03:50 although I doubt you were going to do that.
• 03:52 Keep your feet flat on the floor.
• 03:55 Unless the person you're meeting with is really comfortable in sitting back and
• 03:58 crossing legs, then keep your feet on the floor.
• 04:02 Now, some neuro-linguistic programmer people will say mirror them completely.
• 04:09 I'm not saying it's always a bad idea, but I don't want to overwhelm you and
• 04:13 burden you with in these meetings.
• 04:15 I want to make life simple, and
• 04:18 you need to be focusing on what the person in front of you is saying.
• 04:22 So instead, just come across comfortable,
• 04:26 confident, move and you should be in good shape.

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